controlling premature ejaculation: what is PE?
Premature ejaculation has been defined as persistent or recurrent ejaculation with minimal sexual stimulation before, during, or after intromission and before the patient wishes it. There have been a number of psychological approaches to treatment, though we could not find any papers that defined the effectiveness of these approaches.
It's one of the commonest of all sexual problems. Recently, we did a survey of several thousand British males, and approximately 10 per cent of them said that they 'often' or 'sometimes' had this trouble. We found that it's commoner in younger men - which is not surprising, as there's a distinct tendency for it to improve with age. Men generally get better control as they grow older. However, a 2004 survey in Europe showed that middle-aged men still have this problem. Fortunately, good treatments are available.
Men with PE have a lack of ejaculatory control, which can cause psychological distress among men who suffer from it. Likewise, partners of men with premature ejaculation express dissatisfaction with the timing of ejaculation, and may also experience reduced self-esteem and sexual pleasure.
The number 1 cause of premature ejaculation is an uncontrollable and overwhelming urge to ejaculate, produced from over-stimulation by your lover. This urge seems impossible to fight, or so people think! Your body reacts like this to ensure impregnation and the survival of our species. So basically it's a natural reaction. A natural reaction that you can alter. You know it can be altered because some men don't suffer from premature ejaculation and if it's a natural reaction it can't be a physical problem. So there is nothing medically wrong with you. (read more on controlling premature ejaculation)
More on controlling premature ejaculation
Finally, there's no question that anxiety plays a part in many cases of premature ejaculation. If you're nervous, you're likely to come too quickly. That's why many males have discovered for themselves that a small amount of alcohol eases their nerves and makes them less likely to climax prematurely. But we wouldn't recommend alcohol as a treatment!
According to several medical texts, premature ejaculation is not typically caused or exacerbated by any physical illness or abnormality. It is not the fault of the woman, regardless of how exciting her mate finds her. It is a curable, emotionally caused problem that some believe is related to general performance anxiety.
For many years, sex experts have tended to say that premature ejaculation is caused by early 'conditioning'. In other words, the man's early, rushed (and perhaps furtive) sexual experiences had to be quick - so as to avoid detection! The idea is that all this hectic rush 'conditions' him to climax as quickly as possible.
Several factors may contribute to premature ejaculation. Psychological problems such as stress, depression and other factors that affect mental and emotional health can aggravate this condition. However, there is growing evidence that biological factors can make some men more prone to experience premature ejaculation.
controlling premature ejaculation
The emergence of sexual tension and relationship difficulties are greatly reduced if sexual activity occurs under these circumstances: only after the partners know each other well and are comfortable with one another. Both partners consent to sexual intimacy without feeling pressured. Sexual activity should occur in a private and relaxed setting. In addition, contraception issues should be discussed, decided and acted upon by the couple.
However, the primary treatment of ejaculatory control is helping a man, by various techniques, to repeatedly focus his attention on the increasing erotic sensations in his body as he approaches orgasm. By increasing his awareness of the buildup of these pleasurable sensations he is better able to judge where he is along the path of reaching an orgasm and ejaculating. (Note: orgasm and ejaculation are separate events, caused by separate systems in the male's body, though they usually occur at the same time. The term orgasm is commonly used when speaking of a male's ejaculation. Technically, however, orgasm is just the peak of the intense pleasurable feeling that usually follows a man being highly sexually excited.
"The impact premature ejaculation can have on men and their partners can be devastating for a relationship and, currently, there are no truly optimal therapies for premature ejaculation," says Jon L. Pryor, M.D., chairman and program director of the Department of Urologic Surgery at the University of Minnesota and lead investigator of the dapoxetine phase III clinical trials. "The results with dapoxetine are compelling. They demonstrate that, for the first time, a medicine can be taken by men on an on-demand basis and provide significant improvement in their premature ejaculation condition. The unique profile of dapoxetine translated into targeted treatment of premature ejaculation compared to existing therapies. There are meaningful improvements in this study across all primary and secondary endpoints, including a three-to-four fold increase in IELT."
The stop-start method involves the partner stimulating the man's penis, except that when the man instructs, the partner stops stimulating the man's penis before ejaculation becomes inevitable. Then as he feels he regains control, he instructs the partner to begin stimulating his penis again. This procedure is repeated three times before allowing the man to ejaculate on the fourth time. The couple repeats this exercise three times a week, until the man has good control, then they progress to stop-start with lubrication, and then intercourse with the woman on top and the man not moving. He again instructs her to stop moving when he senses he is losing control. The couple progresses over subsequent times to the having the man move, then side by side intercourse. Instead of stopping and starting, the couple may progress to merely slowing down to enable the man to regain control of his urge to ejaculate. The therapists counseling patients using this stop-start technique report a 90 percent success rate in delaying ejaculation. (read more on controlling premature ejaculation)
controlling premature ejaculation - Tips
Breathe deeply. One very easy way to stay relaxed while making love is to breathe deeply. The body has a natural tendency to breathe deeply during sex. But many men fight it. They think they should stay in control by not breathing deeply and making the little love-moan sounds that go along with it. But when men work to control their breathing, they often sacrifice ejaculatory control. Try breathing deeply. Let your breath go. Many men are amazed how much this one little change improves their ejaculatory control.
Once you have good control during masturbation, and appreciate whole-body sensuality, and feel comfortable breathing deeply during lovemaking, then you're ready for the couples program -- if you're in a couple. The couple approach is called the "Stop-Start Technique." First, arrange "stop" and "start" signals with your lover, for example, a light pinch or tap, or a tug on an ear.
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